Suzanne Lambert Storyteller, Author and Blogger The Mirror
© 2013 - 2019 Suzanne Lambert | All Rights Reserved
The Mirror Sarah wondered when it would end, this constant screaming, changing nappies and feeling like a total wreck.  Just a moment ago she had caught sight of herself in the mirror. Dear God when had that happened. Cruel, that’s what it was, she thought.  Sarah’s throat was hurting, maybe if she just let herself cry, let it all out she would feel better. No damn it I will not cry she shouted, if she just held on to the anger a bit longer she would get through. Once more Sarah looked at her reflection and thought how unfair Mother Nature could be. After all hadn’t she brought a child into the world and heavens knows it hadn’t been easy. She had carried her child for nine months, had done everything she had been told to do, was coping 24 hours a day on her own, washing, cleaning, ironing, rocking, soothing and loving, all without that wonderful thing called sleep.  People had told her about it and quite naturally she had smiled and said she would cope. This baby had been wanted, planned and then there were those pictures in the magazines. Mothers looking perfectly groomed smiling down at their sleeping or smiling babies. It had made her smile and given her funny little butterflies in her stomach because soon this would be her. Sarah was totally organised and it would be perfect. There was no need for all this advice after all there was two of them, not like those poor souls who had to cope on their own. So why did she feel so alone. He had to work, well yes of course he did but then his day was over at 6pm. Done deal. Home, feet up and out with his friends on a weekend, why not he said, he had after all worked hard all week. Sarah, of course, had sat with her feet up all week, drinking coffee, out with friends and the clothes washed and ironed themselves and then threw themselves into the wardrobes and drawers like a bizarre scene out of Mary Poppins. The food just delivered itself and bounced across the kitchen floor and threw itself into the cupboards. The baby, of course, never cried it was as good as gold. The mirror showed Sarah this simply wasn’t true. She had black circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, the clothes she wore had been thrown on quickly before the baby woke.  There was smell of sick from the left sleeve of her t-shirt and a coffee stain on her leggings. Who am I she thought and then the tears came and Sarah sat down on the sofa and allowed herself a good old cry.  She had loved him for so long, almost from the first moment she had set eyes on him when she was sixteen  years old.  He was the one and she would be whoever he wanted her to be, and so she had been friend, confidant, support, carer, lover, wife never asking anything in return except for him to love her.  Even at sixteen Sarah knew she would marry him one day and she would make his life so perfect he would never leave her like other men did. He would be hers completely and he would love her forever. That’s just the way it was.  He had smiled at her as she walked down the aisle and Sarah held her breath. This was it, all those years of watching him, loving him, taking care of him always just there when he needed her without crowding him at all.  She was a good person he told her and she had been happy with that. He loved her of course, she knew that too. Theirs would be the perfect success story, husband, wife and eventually children. No way was Sarah ever going to let herself go.  How extremely smug was I, she told the mirror. So what had happened? Day after day making sure everything was just right, clean house, everything done when he came home from work, night feeds downstairs so as not to wake him because he had to go to work.  Just look at me, she thought despairingly, when on earth do I get time to even comb my hair. She saw the way he had looked at her this morning when he left for work and the injustice of it all made her want to scream. She had immediately caught sight of her reflection. That mirror will have to go Sarah shouted in anger. Ridiculous she thought, looking at her sleeping son, I am crying more than you do darling she whispered to him. Picking him up would wake him probably and God knows she needed a rest yet Sarah picked up her sleeping child and held him close for comfort and continued to cry. Jack stirred and look at his mother with the brightest of blue eyes.  They looked at each other and Sarah suddenly realised they were actually breathing together in time. For a moment it was almost as if they were one person and it was then he smiled. That was not wind, no way, not ever, that was a smile, a perfect smile. Sarah gasped, she had never in her whole life seen anything more incredible, no other child had ever smiled like that at his mum. Sarah smiled back at her son and began to sing him gently back to sleep. Once more she looked round the room and slowly walked towards the mirror.  ‘You lied to me this morning’ she said. ‘That was not me.  Just look at me now.’  There was a sparkle in her eyes now, not tears. There was a glow in her cheeks that made her look pretty. The sick on her t-shirt showed the world that she was a mother and that she had one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs in the whole world.  Sarah held her son closer and rocked him from side to side never taking her eyes from the mirror. ‘I like what I see,’ she told the mirror, then laughing turned round to face the rest of her day.
Suzanne Lambert Storyteller, Author and Blogger The Mirror
© 2013 - 2019 Suzanne Lambert | All Rights Reserved
The Mirror Sarah wondered when it would end, this constant screaming, changing nappies and feeling like a total wreck.  Just a moment ago she had caught sight of herself in the mirror. Dear God when had that happened. Cruel, that’s what it was, she thought.  Sarah’s throat was hurting, maybe if she just let herself cry, let it all out she would feel better. No damn it I will not cry she shouted, if she just held on to the anger a bit longer she would get through. Once more Sarah looked at her reflection and thought how unfair Mother Nature could be. After all hadn’t she brought a child into the world and heavens knows it hadn’t been easy. She had carried her child for nine months, had done everything she had been told to do, was coping 24 hours a day on her own, washing, cleaning, ironing, rocking, soothing and loving, all without that wonderful thing called sleep.  People had told her about it and quite naturally she had smiled and said she would cope. This baby had been wanted, planned and then there were those pictures in the magazines. Mothers looking perfectly groomed smiling down at their sleeping or smiling babies. It had made her smile and given her funny little butterflies in her stomach because soon this would be her. Sarah was totally organised and it would be perfect. There was no need for all this advice after all there was two of them, not like those poor souls who had to cope on their own. So why did she feel so alone. He had to work, well yes of course he did but then his day was over at 6pm. Done deal. Home, feet up and out with his friends on a weekend, why not he said, he had after all worked hard all week. Sarah, of course, had sat with her feet up all week, drinking coffee, out with friends and the clothes washed and ironed themselves and then threw themselves into the wardrobes and drawers like a bizarre scene out of Mary Poppins. The food just delivered itself and bounced across the kitchen floor and threw itself into the cupboards. The baby, of course, never cried it was as good as gold. The mirror showed Sarah this simply wasn’t true. She had black circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, the clothes she wore had been thrown on quickly before the baby woke.  There was smell of sick from the left sleeve of her t-shirt and a coffee stain on her leggings. Who am I she thought and then the tears came and Sarah sat down on the sofa and allowed herself a good old cry.  She had loved him for so long, almost from the first moment she had set eyes on him when she was sixteen  years old.  He was the one and she would be whoever he wanted her to be, and so she had been friend, confidant, support, carer, lover, wife never asking anything in return except for him to love her.  Even at sixteen Sarah knew she would marry him one day and she would make his life so perfect he would never leave her like other men did. He would be hers completely and he would love her forever. That’s just the way it was.  He had smiled at her as she walked down the aisle and Sarah held her breath. This was it, all those years of watching him, loving him, taking care of him always just there when he needed her without crowding him at all.  She was a good person he told her and she had been happy with that. He loved her of course, she knew that too. Theirs would be the perfect success story, husband, wife and eventually children. No way was Sarah ever going to let herself go.  How extremely smug was I, she told the mirror. So what had happened? Day after day making sure everything was just right, clean house, everything done when he came home from work, night feeds downstairs so as not to wake him because he had to go to work.  Just look at me, she thought despairingly, when on earth do I get time to even comb my hair. She saw the way he had looked at her this morning when he left for work and the injustice of it all made her want to scream. She had immediately caught sight of her reflection. That mirror will have to go Sarah shouted in anger. Ridiculous she thought, looking at her sleeping son, I am crying more than you do darling she whispered to him. Picking him up would wake him probably and God knows she needed a rest yet Sarah picked up her sleeping child and held him close for comfort and continued to cry. Jack stirred and look at his mother with the brightest of blue eyes.  They looked at each other and Sarah suddenly realised they were actually breathing together in time. For a moment it was almost as if they were one person and it was then he smiled. That was not wind, no way, not ever, that was a smile, a perfect smile. Sarah gasped, she had never in her whole life seen anything more incredible, no other child had ever smiled like that at his mum. Sarah smiled back at her son and began to sing him gently back to sleep. Once more she looked round the room and slowly walked towards the mirror.  ‘You lied to me this morning’ she said. ‘That was not me.  Just look at me now.’  There was a sparkle in her eyes now, not tears. There was a glow in her cheeks that made her look pretty. The sick on her t-shirt showed the world that she was a mother and that she had one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs in the whole world.  Sarah held her son closer and rocked him from side to side never taking her eyes from the mirror. ‘I like what I see,’ she told the mirror, then laughing turned round to face the rest of her day.